"Trikone helps me understand the issues of being a minority within a minority (queer and South Asian)"

When I came to the US at age eight, I experienced the challenges of feeling different for the first time. For the next ten years, I worked hard to fit in and be as American as I could. (I even became a preppy fraternity guy who raced sailboats.) At the age of 18, I discovered (with the help of my then girlfriend) how wonderful it was that I was a person of Desi origin and the rich culture to which I belonged. I could appreciate my heritage and respect my roots, rather than downplay them.

Eight years later, I found the perfect woman to marry. Before proposing, I decided to explore this odd curiosity I had to be intimate with a man. At the age of 26, realizing I was gay, I was all the more confused. Out of respect for her (and to be true to myself), I broke things off with her. I spent a number of years questioning and testing my values and the stereotypical role I was supposed to play in my family and society.

It took some time for me to be non-discriminatory and non-judgmental of myself. It took even longer to find a community that is the same. I am happy to be in San Francisco. After working in the corporate world for many years, I have now combined my skills with my passion to support a variety of nonprofits by working at Horizons Foundation. I try to stay active in the Bay Area community. I conceived and produced the "Spouses for Life" photography exhibition with a variety of community allies (such as Qcc, BACW, and The LGBT Community Center). Other instances involved fundraising for service organizations like Shanti and ArtSpan.I am also part of the SF Sailing Team, which raced in the Gay Games in Sydney & Chicago. Not a prep any more but a gay sailor!

In Trikone I can be at ease with my fellow Desi queer brothers and sisters. We can be here for each other, and spare others the pain and symptoms of isolation (which I knew all too well). How wonderful it is that Trikone can be empowering and supportive.

It was an honor to serve (with many others) the South Asian queer Desi community when I helped on the DesiQ2000 steering, program, and banquet committees. Now that I am on the Trikone board, I am delighted we had such an international, inclusive, and successful DesiQ2006.

ROKE CHAUDHURI

roke [at] trikone [dot] org
Stats: 40 years old/Butch Dyke
Board member since Jul 2005
Co Chair since Jan 2007
DesiQ2006 Steering Committee

Trikone has finally given me a home, to be queer, proud and south asian.

Geena

geena [at] trikone [dot] org
Stats: 40 years Female/Lesbian
Board member since Mar 2008
Previous Board member 2000-02, DesiQ2000 Steering and Program Committee

Who am I? Proud to be an American, Desi, Queer and a Woman of Trikone!

Chandra

chandra [at] trikone [dot] org
Stats: male/ GAY/ India
Board member since May 2008
Volunteer for Jashn 2007, KK 2007, Planning Committee KK 2008

Trikone has been a constant presence in my life ever since I moved to the Bay Area. As a board member of Trikone, I would like to make Trikone's functioning more transparent and increase member involvement in supporting Trikone by participating, volunteering and donating for the events and thus creating a sense of belonging within the community.

POONAM

poonam [at] trikone [dot] org
Stats: 29, Lesbian
Member since 2008
Women-of-Trikone, Desi Dyke Brunch Host 2007

Trikone has allowed me to embrace my three cultures; desi, queer and american. The challenging tasks of reconciling these three cultures has made me more aware of the different influences effecting each of us and has made me passionate about celebrating our diversity!

I hope to serve as a voice for South Asian queer women that suffer from archaic stereotypes and assist them in identifying healthy outlets for dealing with various issues impacting them. I want my South Asian sisters to know that Trikone is in solidarity with them!

ABHAY

abhay [at] trikone [dot] org
Stats: 31, gay
Board Member since Feb 2008
V olunteer for Jashn 2007

Trikone has provided a forum for desi LGBT members to find friends, companions and support for years now. As a Board member in 2008 I hope to work with my fellow Board members to expand that sense of community to include other volunteer organizations in the Bay Area and the nascent LGBT movements in South Asia.

RAKESH MODI

rakesh [at] trikone [dot] org
Stats: 38 years old/Male/Queer
Board member since Jul 2005
DesiQ2006 Steering Committee, DesiQ2000 Steering, Program, and Banquet Committees

"The South Asian LGBT community is like an extended family to me; after all we've gotta take care of each other."

I've been asked to write a bio for the website, and so, be prepared for all the raunchy gory details of the sensational, sexy, scandalous stories of my life! But wait a minute... for that, you'll have to patiently wait for my autobiography. Until then, here's a skimpy g-string-like short, watered down and censored version of who I am.

I grew up in Bombay as the older son of conservative parents who, like everyone else wanted me to be a doctor, engineer or a Chartered Accountant, and make millions of bucks. So, I chose the last option (not the millions bucks, but to be a CA). Meanwhile, en route to becoming a CA, I was also discovering that I was attracted to boys. Thus began my teenage life of sex with a friend, then a relationship (and break up) with my girlfriend, and finally the acceptance of my sexuality, all before I turned 21.

Once self acceptance was out of the way, began another journey... of working with the first ever gay newsletter in India, called Bombay Dost. Together with pioneers of the Indian queer movement like Ashok Row Kavi, and others, I got seriously involved in activism, setting up the Humsafar Trust, doing peer counselling, setting up a helpline and undergoing counselling training with some top name psychologists in Bombay, and also from ILGYO at Strasbourg, France.

Which is why, when I moved to the Bay Area, I had to be involved with Trikone, initially volunteering with events like DesiQ2000 & DesiQ2007 and QFilmistan, and finally by serving on the board as a co-chairperson. I feel like there's a lot more that needs to be done personally as well as for our community. So, here I am again .. serving the community as a Trikone board member.

Prithi

priti [at] trikone [dot] org
Stats: 31, bisexual
Part of Trikone as: Board Member since Feb 2008, volunteer for Jashn 2007, volunteer for Pride 2007

Nirvana sang "Come as you are" and we in Trikone live it! Its the acceptance, inclusiveness, and happiness in knowing and being with like-minded friends that makes Trikone a dynamic living organization that redefines itself based on the LGBT community's needs. I would like to work with all on the Board to extend this comforting social environment to each and every South Asian who is ready and willing to be a part of it here and around the world.

RAHMAN HAQ

rahman [at] trikone [dot] org
Stats: 26, Gay, Pakistan
Part of Trikone as: Board Member since Feb 2008, volunteer for Jashn 2007, volunteer for Pride 2007

Growing up in Pakistan, I had no idea what "gay" meant. I heard occasional whispers of a cousin here, or an uncle there, who was "like that". All men, never women and never transgender folk. Like what, I wondered. Lying? Alcohol? Govinda's hairstyle? How bad could it be to have no name? No one elaborated, but somehow, I realized I too was "like that".

Out of the blue, I found a word for it in an entry titled "Homosexuality" in Readers Digest Encyclopedia. The entry used strange words: genitalia, hormones, puberty. Like the plastic and stainless steel we came to dread at our Dentist's office.

This entry, too, never talked about women or the gender queer.

Later, in the UK and then the US, I realized queer women, men, and trans folk were anything but plastic and steel. I realized that, as a community, we were more passionate and empathetic than just about any other.

But something was missing. All the Desi people I knew were straight, and all my queer friends weren't Desi. Since we Desi's do take up oh, a quarter of humanity, it seemed impossible for the two not to intersect. But somehow, they didn't. I came to think of these two elemental parts of me in terms of an old hindi song: two shores of a river, running in parallel over half the world, but never meeting.

Then came Trikone, and the two sides met in some of the most inspirational, non-judgemental, welcoming and beautiful people I have met. Friends who are determined to welcome you as you are. Trikone makes me proud to be myself. I hope it can do the same for you.